This is going to be one of those installment letters so part of it is going to be a little dated and maybe disjointed so please bear with me. The first portion was written Wednesday after a particularly frustrating day at work. There were a few "minor" interruptions after I wrote and today is now Saturday. I considered just deleting the first segment but after thinking long and hard I decided to send it anyway. So, it may be a particularly long and depressing letter or...............
I guess we will both find out.
Hey
folks,
The holiday season has ended and I have to say I'm not really sorry to see
it go. Although there are a lot of folks around the world with more reason than
I. I cannot complain as Santa and life in general has been good to us. Yea,
Cathy and Gary have had some setbacks to which I exclaimed, "welcome to
adulthood" and Christy is having some reemerging legitimate concerns about her
ex. Mom and dad are here though if they need us and that in itself is a good
enough reason to be happy. It's all part of living life and the majority of
folks around the world are facing far, far greater challenges.
Ok, enough of that. Let's see, where do I go from here?
This is our second winter here. Each year although the days do shorten until the winter solstice, the sun does rise each day. On the shortest day it peaks about halfway above the tundra in back of town and skirts it for about an hour and 20 minutes before it disappears. Last year we had an unobstructed view and most days were clear and below zero so we saw it almost daily. This year however the school board built apartments between us and Swan Lake which cut off over half of our view of the tundra behind town (darn, we're becoming a metropolis!). Next the weather has been like all over, unusual. It has been overcast and snowing off and on almost daily with the temps for the most part staying not only above zero, but in the teens and 20's above. So, even if the view was still unobstructed, for almost two months we would not have seen the sun except for that one day last week. I have mentioned Kotzebue does not get a lot of measurable snow fall but this year that is just not the case. You realize it when you ride around town looking at the mountains of snow shaped and sculpted by all manner of snowplows. After the storm blew itself out Sunday evening the stars came out and hung around until Tuesday night. The northern lights which we have not seen for well over a month put in a pale but noticeable appearance. Of course this morning the machines were all covered with the light plastic looking snow I mentioned in the last email.
The
search continues for the man missing here since Christmas. His picture is up
everywhere in town, even on the local public announcement channel on TV. He is
from Noatak, one of our villages and their SAR (search and rescue) folks have
come down to join the Kotz SAR in the search. They are systematically going
through the town probing the snow and are even knocking on every door looking
for him. We can only pray for the best. Personally I don't think he is hiding as
there has been so much effort and publicity that if he was staying with anyone,
they would have turned him in. Sadly, I feel his body will not turn up until
spring thaw if then. The routine is the plows push all the snow out of the town
and onto the back bay and Swan Lake by driving right out on the ice when they
have a break in the weather. So when the ice melts.........
The New Years fireworks were cancelled again this year due to high winds and
were rescheduled for Monday night. The winds were calm and the sky was clear as
we prepared to ride out to watch the "fire and ice" display. It ended up being
cancelled again due to the search. As I type, Gary and his brother are out with
SAR assisting in the search.
I have to say this land has more than it's share of tragedy although it
pales in light of recent world events. However when there is a tragedy, folks
here seem to come together in a way I have never seen before. If it is a SAR
they mobilize and a maximum effort will be expended until either the person is
found, or the family tells them to stop. Whenever there is a death of any kind
the multitudes of people who show up to show support or mourn is amazing to me.
Perhaps it has to do with a lot of people here being related either by blood or
through living with different people. A lot of kids end up growing up with Ahna
Or Tata (Grandmother or Grandpa), aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, or friends
of the family. When these kids become adults, they consider the people they
lived with a relative whether they're blood relatives or not . There are I feel
a multitude of reasons for this. High death rates, people dying young, abuse,
neglect, rape, incest, alcohol and drug abuse-all the same things that plague
Native Americans all over the country. I have to say the single most reason for
all the aforementioned problems is alcohol. Do not judge these people because of
the alcohol abuse. Our ancestors have had hundreds of years of genetic natural
selection due to alcohol abuse. They have had plenty of time for it to kill off
the weak, those unable to handle it, and to build up a better tolerance for it.
The STD rates here are also the highest in the country. It is my personal
opinion that the accepted practice of kids being passed from family to family,
the high birth rate (and conversely the high STD rate), it is an inbred survival
tool developed over thousands of years due to the dangerous living conditions
here. Now add to the mix what the white man brought-drugs, alcohol, STD's.
Time to regroup. Maybe I am trying to justify our being here. Patty and I
come home some nights so frustrated with our jobs and some of the folks we work
with that the overwhelming urge is to "get out of Dodge". Let's face it, in case
you haven't figured it out by now this isn't exactly the garden spot of America
so it doesn't attract the cream of the crop. The stereotypical saying as I have
mentioned before is that there are three types of people that move here;
"missionaries, mercenaries, and misfits". It is so true. Missionaries (no, not
in the literal sense) come here to try to make things better and feel their
presence will make a difference, mercenaries come here to pay off their loans or
make as much money as they can while they can, and the misfits are those that
are hiding out or just can't make it anywhere else. (Imagine what good role
models these folks are to local kids.) Dammit, I hate the stereotyping but we
are in the group with the missionaries. Our problem is we both have a
conscience. Invariably the folks we are frustrated with are folks from down
south, not locals. Whenever we talk about leaving invariably the good people who
live here come to mind. There are a lot of good people here. Patty and I fight
hard almost daily at work to move the bar towards better. No, we are not the
answer to all the problems. We are frequently told by those individuals I
mentioned from down south we are frustrated with that, "things will never
change", or "it's been this way and you're not going to change anything". (These
words come mostly from the mouths of the people who almost monthly are flying to
Anchorage or further destinations for "training", all on the company nickel.
They are not only getting training and experience they would never get in a big
city hospital, but it is all free!) However, the overwhelming feeling we have is
if we leave, we leave the problem folks here and the people who call this place
home will be left with them. At that point we will just become two more white
folk that came up for whatever reason and left. I know, I know, I sound like a
wounded martyr and the day will come when we leave here. All I can say is it
feels good to live among these people and be not only welcomed, but an accepted
part of the community. If we can do a little good then I suppose it will be
worth the price of the little bit of sanity we give up. Yea, I've preached from
this soapbox before.
You have now fastforwarded from Wednesday 1/5/05 to Saturday 1/8/05.
After eating dinner Wednesday night I had intended to finish this letter and take it easy until bedtime. While finishing dinner the emergency radio we have in the apartment announced they were going to do the fireworks that night and needed volunteers at the firehall to help. So, we dressed for the at the time windless, clear, upper teen temps, debated on taking the 4 wheelers or snowmachines deciding in favor of 4 wheelers as we would have to uncover and recover the snowmachines, and rode to the hall. The hall had snowmachines all around it and was packed with people so we figured we would not be needed. However it turned out that all the folks and machines were searchers. A lot of SAR members from a number of our villages had ridden into town over the tundra and frozen bodies of water on their own machines. Again everywhere you looked there was food inside the living area and in the huge bay where all the vehicles are kept. Walking in the bay we passed a large frozen Sheefish on plastic, a broken open bag of some type of frozen small trout I had never seen before, a large bowl of raw dough for making homemade donuts, and other "delicacies". (I have to say they make homemade fried donuts here that are really good. It's kind of like a beignet except chewier and without as many air pockets and served with nothing on it.)
There were less than a dozen folks there to help with the pallet of fireworks that was stacked over five feet high. We loaded them into a pickup, onto the department Argo (an amphibious vehicle with 8 tires for use in the summer and tracks that are placed over the tires for winter. These tracks have metal claws spaced all along the outside for traction on the ice.) and onto a 12 foot basket sled pulled by a snowmachine. We rode out to the front of town and even though the truck did not drive out onto the ice due to the recent overflow, the rest of us did. The sled pulled by the snowmachine ferried the fireworks from the truck. It took an hour to set them all up and we were about 300 yards out on the frozen sound in front of town. Fortunately, the Alaska Air jet had just taken off and flown over about 15 minutes before we were ready. While setting up the wind began blowing again and it began snowing. Both of us started getting a bit cold with the exertion, sweating, and wind. They wanted me to help light fireworks with the five foot poles that had flares attached to the end but I declined. Patty and I rode our 4 wheelers to about 100 yards from town and set up crowd control. I have to say the display went off without a hitch and watching the fireworks bursting over the vast expanse of frozen water was a special treat. Talk about an unobstructed view. There was a tremendous crowd all along front street and out on the ice itself and a great cheer went up after the finale.
Patty started her machine and drove out to help pick up while I stayed put chatting with a TDY doc for a few minutes before I tried to start my machine. Well, as so often happens in the cold my machine would not start. I stood there alone for about 15 minutes trying every trick in the book without success before Patty finally figured out I had not arrived to help pick up. We have specially made nylon Y-shaped tow ropes with hooks we ordered from Cabela's that work equally well with 4wheelers and snowmachines so it was a quick hookup for the tow home. The only problem is my machine has a 400cc engine and is heavier than her 350cc machine and we had to go up a steep incline made of compacted snow. This was the only way to get from the frozen sound to the roadway. Of course halfway up the incline her machine bogged down and both machines had to be pushed while gunning the engine on the smaller machine while walking beside it pushing. A couple of folks helped us and we made it ok. The ride home was a bit uncomfortable because we were riding against the wind and the now sand blasting snow.
Now that should be the end of that story except for getting the machine running over the weekend. Well, it's not.
The next morning about 5am I awoke with a terrible migraine, got up and took meds and lay back down. Patty got up and after finding out about my pain she went about getting ready for work. After she was dressed she came to my bedside and told me she was not feeling well and had been feeling weak since pushing the machine last night. She has a history of SVT which without all the medical lingo means her heart occasionally has a mind of it's own and takes off beating anywhere from 150 to over 200 beats a minute. She takes daily meds for it and takes one extra whenever an episode occurs which she now tells me happened last night. I take her pulse while I am trying not to puke due to the headache and it is very irregular. So, this matching pair of broken down middle age fogies head to the ER. Without belaboring anything in to much detail she is in Atrial Fibrillation, a rhythm she has never been in before and someone 47 years of age should not be in. The doc treats her with fluids and does a battery of lab tests which show she is borderline for diabetes and borderline on cholesterol. She is fine as long as she is still but with activity gets weak. Now I am not going into medical detail but you medical folks out there know what this means. I accuse her as I try to keep from upchucking of trying to one-up me but I am concerned enough that I am able to put my pain as far back as I can. She was admitted for observation as the rhythm strip kept showing that her heart was trying to convert. I finally went home around one and napped long enough to get rid of my pain. About 4pm the doc consulted a cardiologist in Anchorage that recommended Cardioversion-shocking her with a defibrillator on low voltage. I say no, Patty says no, and the Medical Director says no, all for the same reason. We are 560 miles from the nearest cardiac cath lab or any other intensive care ability if anything goes wrong. We discuss the pros and cons of trying to get on the jet that night, do a medevac, or treat with drugs and fly down later in the week for more definitive care.
The doc taking care of Patty is a TDY (temporary duty) doc here for three months. We have a number of them, and some docs who are only a couple of years out of residency along with a couple that have experience. This doc does have experience even though he is a TDY and we are comfortable with him. He reminds us that the onset of the arrhythmia was brought about by pushing the 4wheeler up the hill. This is he states, "a positive stress test". He, with our approval, decides on preventive treatment heavy on anticoagulation, cholesterol medication, and upping her beta blocker (all appropriate I feel without going into detail). We will decide in the morning what course to take at that time. He also decides on a particular beta blocker to try to get her out of the heart rhythm she is in. Around 8pm that night she converted to Normal Sinus Rhythm on her own before the other beta blocker is administered. She was discharged Friday afternoon and we spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get records from a cardiologist she saw in Anchorage last March who, lets just say, we do not care for. We will be traveling to Anchorage in the next couple of weeks for intensive testing. Patty is fine and she will continue to be fine. The doctor wrote on his discharge papers to "avoid aggravation". Everyone that saw this order looked right at me-including me. Damn, I gotta say sleeping in the storage shed is cold.
I have to say that before deciding to make the move here, we did discuss the risk of living where there is limited care available if we have a medical emergency. We decided it was worth the risk-together.
I just asked Patty who is reading over my shoulder if she has any regrets about coming here. She stated without hesitation, "NO"! I agree.
We will keep you posted.
Carlo
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Last updated: 08/29/05